Once upon a time, I sat at a desk in my private office during my lunch hour at the job I hated and got very very angry at Holley Gerth. Do you know Holley? She's an encourager, a writer, a speaker, but certainly not one typically stirring up controversy in the blogosphere. She's more of a "speak the truth in love" kind, than an incite you to anger kind.
But I was waist deep in one of the harder seasons of our infertility journey and I did not want to read her words. I did not want God to speak to me through that post. But most of all I did not want to believe the truth; Holley way right.
It came slowly to me. In those tear stained moments my soul shouted, "No!" Even as I gently heard God whispering yes. I did not want to embrace my current season. I did not want see where God was using me already to grow and birth things.
But at some point, over time I started embracing it. Sure I did not want to become a mother figure to twenty-something male college students. I certainly did not set out to "mother" a woman older than me. But it has happened again and again. As I feed people, meet there needs, listen to their heartaches, and make a welcoming space for them in my home, I continue to embrace my role of mothering.
There is still pain and loss and grief in this area of my life. I still have babies in heaven that I long to hold. And a failed adoption of two little boys that leaves a gap longing to be filled. But most of the time I have peace too.
God may never give us more children. I hope He does. But as I wait, not knowing His plans or heart, I try to savor this season. This season of nearly unlimited time with my husband. A season of caring for those who eventually go home and don't wake me up at all hours of night. A season of helping to grow so many things.
Once upon a time, Holley Gerth made me mad. Because she was right; all women are mothers.
So what do you think? Is Holley right? I'd love to hear your thought in the comments below.