|Pendant by Lisa Leonard Designs|
(At the beginning of this year God made it very clear that I was to share the part of my story that I had kept secret from this online space. I wasn't sure how that would come about but I was surprised that one way was through my husband, Jason. I'm so glad. Today he shares more beautifully and bravely than I ever could.)
Every year as we move near Mother’s Day I anticipate sadness, pain and heartache. I see the woman I love reminded yet again that her desire to be a mother is an as-yet-to-be fulfilled reality that is instead filled with raised hopes and dashed dreams. That she feels like an outsider in the Church where being a mother is held in such high esteem and yet she is unable to check that box to fit in with everyone else. And where all the well-intentioned words fall flat on a heart that is overflowing with grief and despair.
And yet, as this Mother’s Day has now come and gone, I see a woman who has given her grief over to her Savior and exchanged it for a hopeful mourning that does not exchange the real feelings of sadness for a fake show of happiness but instead places her trust and dreams in the hands of a God who loves her more deeply than we can even know. I rejoice as the healing love of Christ rests on my wife and sanctifies her life even more through the trials and tribulations of this life.
Dedicated to Benjamin & June (our babies in Heaven), William & Hunter (the boys we loved but were not able to bring home) and JC (the orphan who came into our home and forever changed our lives).