I hold onto things very tightly. Often saying "God, you can't have this." And so when He tells me to let go? Take time off? I flat out ignore him.
But the pulling and tension and strain in my heart is too great. And last night at some crazy hour I conceded. I gave back to Him the things that were already His. I conceded.
So in the month of July I will release things I've hovered over like a mother hen. I will entrust them to Him. I will make art for myself and my God and no one else. I will increase my margin and white space.
And most of all I will live in the tension of giving up to be obedient. Thirty days feels like a long time to give up things I love dearly. Things I have clung to.
But it also feels peaceful. Freeing.
This morning I wrote an email saying I couldn't honor a commitment. That it would have to wait until I August. I find my identity in being a person of my word. In never dropping the ball. In always being reliable, steady, efficient. I had to give up a bit of that part of me.
To release the parts of my plan for His greater plan.To find my identity in Him alone.
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