Monday, February 10, 2014

The Lies in my Head

Original Image

Sometimes I sit here, frozen. I avoid rhythms and disciplines that bring me life, keep me focused, and in the game. I listen to the lies of Resistance. It sounds like this:   

“Your writing doesn’t matter. All your giving, and serving, and gathering of women? Useless. Your working hard to create a home for family and relationships and community? Garbage.”

And the truth is sometimes I listen to the voices. Oftentimes they paralyze me. More often they cause me to fear and doubt which can lead to anxiety and depression. I know they’re not true. But sometimes I believe they might be.
And I’m writing about my voices because I know you have them to. The liars in your head. The killers of dreams. The work until you earn grace/validation/worth which means all your work will never be enough. If you listen to the lies in your head you’ll always need to work harder, be better, do more. You’ll never reach any goals, achieve anything of value, or even rest in who you are.
For me? I can’t wrap this post up with a bow or a give it a bright happy ending. I go through seasons where the lies aren’t as loud or I don’t believe them as much. But as long as I’m on this side of Heaven, Resistance will rear it’s ugly head. I’ll daily have to fight to push past the lies and believe the truth. That my value is not in what I do but in what Christ did for me. That my contribution to this world, my city, and relationships matter. And my art? My service, writing, loving of people? The world needs it.

And your art? The world needs yours too. You are valuable because God made you in His image with an intrinsic value that cannot be altered, changed, or added to.

And the voices? They’re all liars.


  1. Your writing matters. I know believing it for yourself is the most important thing, but some days it's good to hear others say it too...and it does. Thank you for sharing (and I LOVE the image).

    1. So true, Renia. I always do appreciate your encouragement.