A Note on Seasons of Life (Day 15)

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For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance...a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:1-7 

Are you a new mom? Perhaps you've just had a tragedy in your family. Maybe you're fighting through depression or a difficult financial season. Perhaps you're a college student in the midst of a heavy course load.

Life is a series of varying seasons of plenty and want, joy and sorrow, peace and unrest. Some of these seasons stand alone and some of them overlap. And some seasons make hospitality and neighboring seem nearly impossible.

And that is ok.

 

God has not called us to love our neighbors to earn His favor or add one more thing to our never ending to-do list. God has invited us to join Him in redeeming His creation. Forming relationships with those closest to us is an honor and a gift.

But if you're in a difficult season it is ok for you take a break from mission and allow yourself to be ministered to. God does not want you walking around with another weight on your already heavy shoulders. He is not condemning you. Instead He wants you to receive his love and peace.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. Romans 8:1-3

If you're in a difficult season here are some simple ideas for being hospitable with yourself:

1. Connect to a community. In difficult seasons our natural tendency can be to isolate from others. Do the opposite. Text a friend. Join a small group. It may be hard to pursue others but you need relationship now more than ever.
2. Ask for help. Perhaps you need meals or financial help. Maybe you just need someone to drop by with a latte. It is hard to articulate our needs but it is necessary. Allow God to meet your needs through others by communicating them.
3. Be open. I am always surprised by how God can use me in even my most difficult seasons. This is especially true when I am able to help someone else even with something as small as a quarter.

If you're in a difficult season I pray you'll feel freedom from pressure to work hard or do more. I pray you'll feel peace to rest in Jesus' accomplished work for you on the cross.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Neighboring series.

Share Meals and Simple Menu Ideas (Day 14)

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 “Jesus didn’t run projects, establish ministries or put on events. He ate meals.” -Tim Chester, A Meal with Jesus 

The table is the great equalizer. Eating is one of the most basic parts of the human experience. It is also one of the most unifying A lot of our best memories are connected to food. Meals break down barriers and make space for relationship.

If you want to love your neighbors and be hospitable toward them meals are the easiest place to start. We like to share meals with our neighbors in the courtyard of our apartment complex and also in our home. There is tremendous value in both.

In a community setting there are four options for shared meals: you cooking the entire meal, a potluck, sharing parts of the menu with a few others, or a progressive dinner. A (themed) potluck or a few people pitching in has worked best for our neighbors. Here are a few menu ideas that have worked well in our neighborhood or we are planning for the months ahead:

Summer Cookout

• Hamburgers and Hotdogs
• Potato Salad
• Baked Beans 
• Cookies
• Lemondade

When we did this on the Fourth of July, we only ended up only purchasing hotdogs because our neighbors contributed so much. The sides and dessert  can be purchased. If you're on a budget just serve hotdogs and the sides and dessert can be made at home very affordably.

Spaghetti Night 

• Spaghetti
• Bread
• Salad
• Chocolate Pie
• Iced Tea

This works really well when eveyone contributes a different part of the meal.

October Fest 

• Brats
• Sauerkraut 
• Warm Potato Salad
• Apple Cake  
• Craft beer

Our community is doing this on the 24th of this month. One neighbor is providing the brats and sauerkraut, one the potato salad, and we'll provide the dessert along with a non-alcoholic beverage choice. Everyone will bring a craft beer to share.

Budget Friendly Chili Night

• Chili & Toppings
• Cornbread
• Salad
• Pumpkin Pie or S'mores

I use this chili recipe every year. It uses dried beans so it's affordable and you can make it in the Crock Pot. I always use ground beef or turkey to cut costs. If you have a grill or fire pit s'mores are a fun activity to do with the neighbors. 

Simple Upscale

• Balsamic Glazed Pork Tenderloin
• Mashed Potatoes 
• Green Beans or Asparagus
• Chocolate Lava Cakes a la Mode

This menu is easier then it looks because of the Crock Pot but your neighbors will think you slaved away all day in the kitchen.  Watch for the pork to go on sale (we just bought some for 1.49/lb.) Plus the batter for the cakes can be made ahead.

What meals do you like to share with your neighbors? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Neighboring series.

Be Hospitable with Yourself and a Sugar Scrub Recipe (Day 13)

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And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-38

The church is a place where you can earn a certificate, or a plaque even, for running yourself ragged. We call it "laying our lives down." Or "Christian service." I wonder how many marriages or children have been sacrificed on these altars? I know it's far to many.

When we talk about loving our neighbors we often for get the second part of the verse. The "as yourself" line is another one of those areas where we think God might be kidding. I whole heartedly believe that God did not mean for us to sacrifice our mental, physical or emotional health when loving others or fulfilling the Great Commission. And He did not mean for marriages or children to be neglected in the process.

We wouldn't ask our neighbors to live like this. So why would we expect ourselves to do so?

This year has been very hard for me. In this season one of the things I have been working with my counselor on is being kind to myself and extending hospitality to me first. This is the opposite of what a lot of poor theology teaches us. But what I have learned is that making a practice of serving people from a place of depletion leads to burnout. But loving my neighbors from a a place of plenty means that I am filled up even more when I serve, instead of being drained.

In 2013, one of my room-mates at Allume was Shannon Coe. Shannon brought all of us beautiful jars of her homemade sugar scrub. I was six weeks pregnant at the time. During that weekend Shannon extended motherly hospitality to me as I slept through many of the sessions and spent most of the conference completely depleted of energy.  I didn't know that after I flew home I would discover something was terribly wrong with the baby. In November I would miscarry and enter a season where I would need to be particularly kind to myself.

No matter what your current season, Shannon's sugar scrub is a start to being hospitable with yourself. Leave it by the tub bathroom or near the kitchen sink as a reminder to be kind to yourself.

Shannon Coe's Sugar Scrub

• 1 c. Sugar
• 1 tbsp. Coconut Oil 
• 1 tsp Almond Oil 
• 10-20 drops Lavender Essential Oil 

1. Mix all ingredients. 
2. Use to cleanse, moisturise, and exfoliate skin. 
3. Store in an air tight container such as a canning jar.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Neighboring series.