I feel the acid gathering in my stomach. I try to drown it with antacids. I try to drown my fear, stress, and anxiety in YouTube videos and Hulu binges. I text friends for prayer. And nothing is enough.
I feel alone and afraid.
I give up. I have no other options. I play a song. I bow before the King. I lay my heart out. I lean into the The Rock that is higher than I.
I don't know how to do this. Give up everything. All that is familiar. For unknown territory. Leave behind home for the sake of obedience. I cannot bare it all.
So I stop trying.
One foot in front of the other. I cry. I sit. I wait. I write. I want to give up worry and lean into trust. I want to stop believing I must do it all on my own.
I want to rest. I want to find daily Sabbath in the midst of a cross-country move.
I take an anxiety supplement. And run water in the sink. Smell Dawn dish detergent. One step at a time I move forward.
I'm linking up over at Kate's for Five Minute Friday. Join us here.