31 Days of Missional Living: A Wife on Mission, Part 2 (Day 27)

Yesterday Dena shared Part 1 of A Wife On Mission including three of seven important lessons she's learned as a church planter. She continues with lessons four through seven today.

Lesson #4: Do not feel obligated to lead a ministry!  Just because you are a “Pastor’s Wife” does not mean you must be the leader of a ministry.  You do not have to play the piano, or the organ.  You do not have to be the Children’s Ministry Director.  You do not have to be the Women’s Ministry Director.  Be a team player whenever and wherever you are needed; there were times that I found myself scrubbing toilets and mopping floors in a school cafeteria before the worship services.  But just as you would encourage others on your launch team, serve in your unique area of giftedness.  God has gifted you in a unique way and that is where you should focus your time and energy.

Lesson #5: Be Missional!  As you go about planting a church, remember, you are a missionary in your own community.  There is no secular part to your life.  It is ALL spiritual.  That means that you represent Jesus at the grocery store, at the PTA meeting, at the gym, at the park.  As you go about planting a church, share with the other moms why you are new to the neighborhood.  Share your mission with your hair stylist.  Share it with your manicurist, if you can ever afford one again.  Love the people in your community.  Meet their needs.  Jesus said, as you go, make disciples.

Lesson#6: Find a trusted prayer partner and confidant!  Pray for the Lord to bring a Godly woman into your life that will pray for you and with you, one that will be a champion of your marriage and ministry.  Your prayer partner and confident will constantly lift you up in prayer, cry with you during the tough times, and laugh with you during the joy times.

Lesson #7: Have thick skin!  Here comes the heavy and the ugly.  There will be people in your new church that will talk negatively about the ministry.  Some will even go so far as to criticize your husband, even to your face… Whoa Nelly, this is where it gets hard.  Stop, drop and pray!  Listen!  Don’t get defensive.  Take a deep breath.  Is this person speaking truth and it needs to be addressed?  Is it constructive criticism? Is it information that is helpful?  If the complaint is about the vision of the church or the mission God put on your husband’s heart, then maybe they are at the wrong church.  Mission and vision are non-negotiable.  One Pastor’s wife shared with me that she had to conclude that she could not worry about what other people say about how the ministry was being lead.  She and husband will listen to God’s lead.  She continued to say that, “God does not expect perfection and neither do we.”  Keep people around you who will be an encouragement about the ministry and have realistic expectations. 

Let me sum up this whole Church Planting ministry wife gig…

Laugh often!  Keep an attitude of gratitude!  Pray for your neighbors!  It is a divine blessing to be called to any ministry, but church planting is honestly the “front lines.”  It is very hard work, but so very worth it.  Just think of the wonderful privilege for you and your family to have a hand in the eternity of the people in your community.  You will make lifelong friendships that will stand the test of time.  You are missionaries in your own back yard.  You are “Jesus with skin on.”  


Dena Deal, along with her husband Pastor Randy and five other families planted Rock Point Church in Gilbert, Arizona eleven years ago.  She currently works alongside her husband as he coaches new Church Planters in Arizona and Southern California.  Dena has a passion to mentor women through God’s written Word.  She lives in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband.  They have five grown children, one daughter-in-law, one amazing grandson and one scruffy dog-named Buddy.  You can follow all her posts written from a wealth of experience at, “Corkin the Crazy”.